In the foothills of the Grey Mountains is a monastery (20.04), occupied by the Keepers of the Sainted Foot. The foot is a mummified relic that the brothers consider holy. Their monastery is a rude timber affair that has suffered badly over the years at the hands of orc raiders coming down from the north. However, despite these depredations it still produces a well spiced gruit with a distinctive tang, which is not only an excellent beer (although a bit of an acquired taste) but functions as potent holy water.
After the most recent such raid the Abbot’s favorite brother was struck down in the barley fields. After weeks of unrelenting grief, the Abbot decided to go on a pilgrimage to the fields of Fernsbank (01.09) to seek peace and wisdom. Little does he know that something has corrupted those once-peaceful fields and that all that pilgrims find there now is feelings of bloodlust.
Strangely enough, shortly after the departure of the Abbot the orcs began to give the monastery a wide birth. None of the brothers know why, all that has happened since then is that a new novice has joined them, a quiet man who now works in the kitchen gardens…
Subhex:
- 20.04.01 (The Goliards of the Sainted Foot): the whole bit about the mummified foot beer started as a life-saving joke.
Connection:
- While staying with the Hermit of the Crag (09.01), the hermit’s cow ate the Abbot’s lion.
Hooks:
- What’s up with the new novice? He can’t be scaring away the orcs, can he?
- What’s the back story of the Sainted Foot? Whose foot is it?
- Why is the beer tangy?
- What’s happening to the Abbot over at Fernsbank?
The Goliards of the Sainted Foot
Hex 20.04.01
Connects to: 29.14.17 and 33.12.
The Keepers of the Sainted Foot are an offshoot of the Church of Alberon, who were driven from the Shuttered City many years ago during the Time of Schisms. The foot that they hold sacred is that of the Archpoet, a composer of high liturgical poetry who led the monks as they fled north on the brink of starvation. While lost somewhere near the edge of the Kingswood, the Archpoet was told by his brothers that they had no more food and many were too footsore to continue walking. He replied: “Well, we shall have to dine on our feet, since they are of so little use to us.” His laughter quickly spread through the whole company, and miraculously they subsisted on humor alone until they found sanctuary in the Freeholds.
Both the Archpoet’s feet were mummified after his death, but one was later stolen from the monastery. Today the monks carry on his tradition by brewing a special beer that gains its flavour from the mummified foot, which is submerged in it. Some claim that this is a necromantic ritual, but the fact that the beer functions as holy water seems to disprove their claim.
When they are drunk upon the holy beer, the monks become goliards - part cleric and part jester, who perform ludicrous parodies of the rituals of the Temple Indivisible. One jape involves walking in a procession with a herring on a string trailing behind each man. Another ridicules the geases of the Shuttered City by forcing visitors to the monastery to swear oaths to only talk in rhyme, to go everywhere facing backwards, etc. Through satire, the goliards hope to destroy the Temple Indivisible, but so far they have only been successful in causing mild irritation and scandal. Nevertheless, one high priest is advocating for a company of Dead Men (32.12) to be sent against the Brotherhood, and one of the Hundred Heresies is listed as “attaching a fish or other sea-dwelling creature to the posterior by means of string or cord”.
Connections
- One of the eleven recognised forms of Alberon is the goliard.
Hooks:
- Was the salvation of the Archpoet and his brothers really a miracle?
- What poetry did the Archpoet write?
- What happened to the Archpoet’s other foot and where is it now?
- Tell me about some other satirical rituals of the goliards.